Ian - guitars
Ian is very, very old. Possibly over thirty. Little else is known about him. He can usually be seen swaying gently, playing guitar while looking intently at his own fingers.

Chuck - bass
Bass is Chuck's second instrument. His first instrument is Guitar Hero. His third instrument is the instrument of luuurve. At the weekends he can be spotted in a gingham dress and DM boots, and answers only to Daphne.

Jezz - drums
Also known as 'the pretty one', Jezz's fondest ambition is to release three hundred white mice on fire live on stage at a gig. Prototype attempts at this stage show have not met with 100% success, but he remains hopeful.

Wish - keys
Wish lives near Aberdeen, but don't hold that against him. In his spare time he enjoys learning Latin in traffic jams, arranging eighties pop for recorder ensemble, and speaking with a German accent.

Morag - vox
Best known for interrupting, Morag is the band's newest member. She drinks a lot of tea, and has thus far been unsuccessful in growing the obligatory band uniform goatee.